Marriage Insights: Created to be his helpmeet

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In NO way am I an expert on marriage. Truthfully, some days I feel like I know nothing. My almost 7 years with Kyle has been a learning experience for us both. What I HAVE learned so far has been a game changer and why would I want to keep it all to myself?

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This book has revolutionized my view towards marriage & MY role as a wife. I was given “Created to Be His Help Meet” at my wedding shower almost 7 years ago and did not truly “dive in” to its pages until almost too late, when I was fixing what could have been prevented had I read it in the first place. Now I can say I have read, highlighted, read some more, re-read…. And have found all the gems to share with you.  I hope you enjoy some of my favorite parts & maybe you can relate to how they’ve impacted me.

WARNING: This book may encourage marital bliss

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Are you a jewel to your husband?

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“By being a crown to her husband, she is winning his love and appreciation ,

thus she gets treated much better than if she stood against him….

She is bringing honor to God by fulfilling her calling as a Help meet”

I hope I’m seen as a jewel not an old rock! I’m daily looking for ways to be a crown, even though I often fail miserably, I’m glad there’s someone BIG who always notices my efforts!

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Difference between a good marriage and a bad one…

“The difference between a good marriage and a lousy one is not found in good husbands and good wives versus bad husbands and bad wives, for all marriages are made up of 2 sinners with lots of faults. A good marriage is good because one or both of them have learned to overlook the others faults, to love the other as he or she is and not attempt to change the other or bring him or her to repentance. A bad marriage is not one that contains more faults between the 2 of them; it is a marriage where one or  both of them gets worked up over issues that good marriage partners let slide and cover up with love and forgiveness. When a woman gets in her mind that she must change her husband before she will allow him to relax in the security of her honor & respect, she will never see so much as the bottom side of a good marriage, except when she is kissing hers goodbye.

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Two wrongs don’t make a good marriage. One “right ” can make a BIG difference in a marriage

It is our choice to love as Christ, selflessly, even if the other chooses the opposite. Maybe not immediately, but The Lord WILL honor a right heart & servant’s attitude.

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Stinkin’ thinkin’

“40,000 thoughts a day… Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.

How many 1,000’s of negative thoughts are you thinking in the course of 3 or 4 hours?

It is your duty before God to think differently. God tells you how to think.

When the emotions will not freely allow us to think what we aught,

our will can command our muscles to actions and the thoughts will follow. “

Commit thy works to The Lord, and your thoughts shall be established” (prov. 16:3)

There was a time in my life that my thought life was attacked at every minute , every hour. My days were miserable and I became overcome with worry, stress, anger, you name it . A friend of mine had been reading a book by Beth Moore  and she told me that she read how Satan must leave at the sound of Jesus’ name. So I decided when these thoughts came I would proclaim the name of Christ and Satan would be “cast down”. It went a little something like this:

(Ugly thought)
“Jesus, go before me, Satan, get behind me!”

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…and in my mind I would invision satan running away in defeat. I grabbed hold of those thoughts (casting down imaginations) and made a conscience effort to CHANGE what I was thinking. I’m telling you, this has worked for me!

You might be constantly reminded of an unkind word spoken,  betrayal, loss, gossip, grudges, and this stinkin thinking consumes your mind . You can change it , practice makes perfect!

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Loving your man: being a minister

“Loving him means putting his needs before your own. I am a minister.

If you are a wife, you, too, are a minister.

Our ministry is directed toward our husbands and then our children.

We were, and are, created to be help meets.

Every day and every night we need to be ready to minister to his needs. “

I like the part about directing our ministry toward our husbands first , THEN our children. This is something I have to constantly work on. All of us have experienced “the squeaky wheel gets the grease”.  My husband doesn’t yell at me from the other room to help him off the potty or cry because someone took his toy… He doesn’t demand my attention and sometimes I cater to who NEEDS me most at that moment.

I’ve put a new ritual into practice at our home…when serving up supper (homemade or not)

I will fill my husband’s plate first (even if the kids are fussing) and then my girls next, myself last.

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“When you make your husband’s needs central,

you will get turned on to the experience and enjoy it yourself.

We don’t minister to others because WE are blessed-

we minister to others because we want to BlESS THEM.

It is completely incidental that the by-product of selflessly

blessing others should result in our being blessed also.

It is not in seeking personal fulfillment that she Is fulfilled,

rather, it is in doing her duty to bless him, that a blessing is returned upon her”

 

. I’m blessed when I am a blessing.

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Mr. President

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She is reverencing her husband , not because her husband is a fit representative of Christ, and not because He is a worthy substitute, but because God placed her in subjection to her husband. When it gets humanly ridiculous to obey that lousy man, when he gives her every reason NOT to respect him, there is only one controlling factor left-God. This woman is obeying and reverencing God, and no one else.

“When you neglect to reverence your husband, you are taking something precious away from yourself, your children, and your husband. “

When the president of the United States makes a public

appearance in one of the fifty states, even if he is not popular

in that state, everyone spends time and energy preparing for him.

When he arrives he is treated with respect.

It is not the man or his policies that the people are recognizing,

it is the office and all that it stands for.

God made your husband the “president” of your family.”

“The more I show my husband reverence, the more he treasure me and treats me like his queen.

God made man so that our deference and respect feed

his tendency to show tenderness and to be protective of us. “

Reverence is not just how you act; it is how you feel and how you respond with words and your body language.

 

Quotes I loved:

-When we choose the right way, feelings will soon follow-

-It’s not about our happiness; it’s about our holiness-

-It is your job to sell him-

-The rough and repulsive things fell away one by one, changing to loving kindness, not because she demanded it , but because she won him to herself by her chaste conversation-

-My husband does not lose any dignity by being in subjection to Christ, nor do I lose any dignity by being in subjection to my husband-

-God will rescue a trusting heart-

-Remember, he doesn’t have to be right or kind for you to react in a godly way-

-When He did not know how to show love, and I felt a void emotionally, I wish I had borne all things and hoped all things, and loved him unconditionally, instead of giving up inside and turning to friends and family for my emotional support and needs. I never say the need to endear myself to him.-

 

*Debi Pearl also has a book for unmarried women called “Preparing to be his helpmeet”

Pictures found:

Created to be his helpmeet book via pinterest

Proverbs 31 wife: “She does him good” created by me. Download here

Beautiful marriage via pinterest

Good thoughts via pinterest

I love you like buscuits & gravy via pinterest

“Raise your words” created by me. Download here

By | 2013-08-02T01:31:24+00:00 June 17th, 2013|inspiring thoughts|34 Comments